THEY INVENTED CHRISTMAS

"CHRISTMAS CHEER" by George S. Knowles

I don't think I'd be overstating it much to say that the Victorians invented Christmas, at least as we celebrate it. To be sure, Christmas began with the birth of the Christ child and was either secretly observed or quietly or raucously celebrated, depending on the century.

But the Victorians are credited with many of the traditions we observe today. They revived an old and jovial Viking winter figure and named him "The Spirit of Christmas" and later "Father Christmas". They reinstated the ancient pagan custom of taking evergreens into the home, created the first Christmas card, brought back caroling and turned a once-riotous free for all into a family celebration.

During the 1840s, England’s Queen Victoria and her German-born husband, Prince Albert, introduced the Christmas tree, so popular in his homeland, as the centerpiece of the royal family’s holiday celebration. The scene was immortalized in both the Illustrated London News and Godey’s Lady’s Book in America, capturing the fancy of Victorian women. Very rapidly the “pretty German toy”, as the Christmas tree was frequently called, passed from interesting folk custom to tradition.

The wealth generated by the new factories and industries of the Victorian age allowed middle class families in England and Wales to take time off work and celebrate over two days, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. Boxing Day, December 26th, earned its name as the day servants and working people opened the boxes in which they had collected gifts of money from the "rich folk". Those new-fangled inventions, the railways, allowed the country people who had moved into the towns and cities in search of work to return home for a family Christmas.

Victoria and Albert's Christmas Tree

(English newspaper version)

Victoria and Albert's Christmas Tree (American version)

(Note how this was Americanized for Godey's

Lady's Book. Victoria's crown has been removed,

as well as Albert's mustache, and the number of

children decreased. Apparently there was

Photoshopping in Victorian times too!)

Christmas crackers were invented by London sweetmaker Tom Smith in 1846. And then of course there is Charles Dickens, with his stories like "A Christmas Carol", who is often credited as The Man Who Invented Christmas, as claimed by London's Sunday Telegraph.

 
At the start of Victoria's reign, children's toys tended to be handmade and hence expensive, generally restricting availability to the rich. With factories, however, came mass production, which brought with it games, dolls, books and clockwork toys all at a more affordable price. Affordable that is, to middle-class children. In a poor child's Christmas stocking, which first became popular from around 1870, only an apple, orange and a few nuts could be found.
 
The "Penny Post" was first introduced in Britain in 1840 by Rowland Hill. The idea was simple: a penny stamp paid for the postage of a letter or card to anywhere in Britain. This simple idea paved the way for the sending of the first Christmas cards. Sir Henry Cole tested the water in 1843 by printing a thousand cards for sale in his art shop in London at one shilling each. The popularity of sending cards was helped along when in 1870 a halfpenny postage rate was introduced as a result of the efficiencies brought about by the railways.

"CHRISTMAS DOLE" by Joseph Clarke

(Bringing in the plum pudding)

In honor of the Victorian invention of beloved Christmas, I thought I would post a number of Victorian Christmas paintings to go with a MeMe challenge given to me by Mary in New York, who has several blogs, including "Celtic Dreamscape" (on my sidebar) and "Moontides". (I love the true Victorian paintings but hate the treacly modern interpretations. (Do you hear me, Thomas Kinkade?)

1. Have you started your Christmas shopping?

Ha, Ha, too funny! Are you kidding me? I don’t even have the money yet to start shopping. But even when I had money, I was never one to shop early. You don't get the best deals by shopping early!


2. Tell me about one of your special traditions.

Dan and Kristen used to make sugar cookies every Christmas Eve Day. They would take over the kitchen and make batch after batch. They would cut cookie dough with holiday cookie cutters and top them with sprinkles.


3. Are you a Black Friday shopper?

Did that once, at Columbia Mall in Grand Forks with an infant Kristen.  Once was enough.

"CHRISTMAS IN ENGLAND", Artist Unknown
(Giving presents to the poor)

4. When do you put up your tree?

Usually on the first Sunday in December, the same day I set out my decorations. However, last year we didn't buy our tree until Christmas week. (We didn't have the Christmas Spirit at the time, but we did manage to find it.) We don't have a tree yet this year - it's too damn cold to be looking for a real tree.

We have tried out many types of Christmas trees - the spindly firs of our childhoods, white pine, scotch pine, and even a hand-cut blue spruce, but have finally settled on Fraser Firs as the best tree to hold ornaments and not get dried out really quickly.


5. Do you travel at Christmas or stay home?

During my years in college, and as a young wife and mother, I traveled a lot, first going home from Grand Forks (six hours) and then from Bismarck (four hours). For a long time we split our holiday visits between my parents' home in Larson and Dan's parents home in Williston. Then, they started coming to Bismarck and I was the hostess. Now that they have all passed, we stay home, going no farther than to my sister's house in Lincoln, five miles away.


6. What is your funniest Christmas memory?

I didn't know about it when it happened, or for many years afterward. It wasn't until the night before my stepfather's funeral that Brother Ron told us that he had seen Santa and his reindeer fly across the moon when he was a little boy. We found this to be extremely hilarious and laughed and howled until we cried. (PS - Brother Ron also fervently believed in UFOs, which may help explain our hilarity.)

"UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE", Artist Unknown

7. What is your favorite Christmas movie of all time? Of recent movies, I love "The Family Stone" and "While You Were Sleeping". Not counting the movies that everyone lists ("A Wonderful Life", Miracle on 34th Street"), I would have to say "The Snowman" by Raymond Briggs. I will be doing a post on my favorite Christmas movies.


8. Do you do your own Christmas baking, what’s your favorite treat?

I do not bake. See #2 above. I should have been the one baking though. Dan and Kristen made hard sugar cookies, and I like my sugar cookies soft, with buttercream frosting. For the holidays, I also love fudge, peanut brittle, thumbprint cookies, overnight (refrigerator) cookies, snickerdoodles, Swedish pepparkakor (heart-shaped gingersnap cookies) and Norwegian sandbakkels, rosettes and krumkake.

Regarding sweets, I love chocolate-covered cherries, chocolate drops, red and green M&Ms, chocolate oranges, Hershey's holiday kisses, Christmas mint patties . . . Yes, I love a Chocolate Christmas. Nuts - I'm the one who'll eat the pistachios when no one else will, and I will fight you for the cashews. With nuts you have to crack, I love hazelnuts, and Brazil nuts, which had a common, horrid racial name when I was a kid. The Brazil nuts were so difficult that I had to have Dad The Expert Nutcracker crack them.


9. Fake or Real Tree?

Real. You can’t beat the smell of a fresh evergreen tree. Dan and I agreed years ago to never get an artificial tree.

"GOING TO A CHRISTMAS PARTY" by George S. Knowles

10. What day (as a mom) does the actual panic set in to get it all done?

Although it used to, panic doesn't set in any more. If the top shelves don't get dusted, or the last decorations set out, or the Christmas wreath purchased for the door, it doesn't matter. The basics will get done and that's all that counts.


11. Are you still wrapping presents on Christmas Eve?

Oh, yes. Late Christmas Eve afternoons, I would still be wrapping gifts and - glue gun in hand - fancily decorating them with silk flowers, lace, ribbons and trinkets. These days, I'm still racing the clock, but I'm putting gifts into gift bags, not wrapping them.


12. What is your favorite family fun time at Christmas?

Going to movies. I used to go with my Aunt Mary, but now Kristen and I go. This year, though, there's really nothing special I want to see.

"THEIR CHRISTMAS EVE" by John Sargent Noble

13. What Christmas craft do you like the best?

I used to do so many needlework crafts for Christmas. I loved to do embroidery, especially crewel work. I worked for weeks and weeks on Kristen's stocking, which we still use today (I had to take it completely apart a few years ago and carefully wash it in cold water after she spilled Coke all over it), a little "Baby's First Christmas" stocking, a table runner, a needlepoint-on-plastic angel, a couple of small cross-stitch pictures featuring cardinals, etc. etc.

However, I ruined my love for needlework when I became a "Creative Circle" representative and held home parties to sell needlecraft kits. I had to make so many demonstration pieces that I burned myself out, but good. I haven't picked up a needle in years.


14. Christmas music. Yes or No, and if yes what is your favorite song?

Oh, Yes! It's one part of Christmas (along with outdoor lights) that I still really enjoy. I love "What Child Is This?" and "Good King Wenceslas". By the way, when I answered the same question, posed by my Aunt Mary, she said, "Oh, you would pick those!"

Wow, can one ever read a lot into five small words. I know she meant, "I've always thought you were weird, and this proves it." I can't help it, I love those old English carols. (And my favorite non-holiday hymn is "Jerusalem".)

Songs I hate: "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer", "Feliz Navidad", "Little Drummer Boy". I hate LDB because my stepdad used to think he was funny by singing Ah ruh-ha-ha-hung" instead of "Ah-rump-pa-pum."


15. When do you plan to finish all your shopping?

It won't take long. I only have five people to buy for. My list gets smaller and smaller each year. I don't even have a workplace "Secret Santa" present or a book club gift to buy this year. Not having much money, my sister and I have agreed to buy only one nice gift for each person in the other's family. That leaves Dan and Kristen, and we'll be cutting back in our family too.

A favorite author of mine, Dee Hardie, wrote in her book "Hollyhocks, Lambs and Other Pleasures", that she never went to the marketplace during the week before Christmas. I have tried so hard to keep that same promise, but have never managed to do so.

I am supposed to pick five people to continue this meme, but you know me, I am a rebel. Instead, I invite anyone who wants to do this meme to do so, and I'd love it if you'd let me know what you've written.

"CHRISTMAS EVE" by George Goodwin Kilburne

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that I use a great many beautiful paintings in my posts. The following site has been invaluable to me in finding these pictures: www.goldenagepaintings.blogspot.com.

"CHRISTMAS EVE 1901" by Carlton Alfred Smith

I WANT OLD CHRISTMAS BACK

From the book "An Old Fashioned Christmas"

Written by Rochelle Pennington, Illustrated by Cathy Stern

(Very like my one-room country school,

except that we had an oil-burning stove)

"The world is too much with us; late and soon," is a famous phrase from poet William Wordsworth. I'd like to paraphrase it to say that "Christmas is too much with us late and soon".

You may think this is just another rant about the commercialization of Christmas, and it is, in part. Yes, I hate that stores start selling Christmas decorations even before Halloween. I hate that Thanksgiving, that unique and wonderful American holiday, is consumed and obscured by the premature Christmas hullaballoo. I hate the concept of Black Friday. I hate that TV commercials urging us to spend money we do not have are so prevalent as to be almost unavoidable. I hate all the extra advertising in the Sunday paper.

My favorite image of Santa, the Coca-Cola Santa

I admit that I was once a part of the whole Christmas madness. After moving into our new home in 1982 after the fire that destroyed our previous place, I started observing Christmas in a big way. I bought umpteen Christmas decorations and made umpteen Christmas crafts. I started collections of Christmas collectibles.

Our house was decorated for Christmas to the extent that my mother-in-law commented that it looked like a Better Homes and Gardens magazine spread. Crazily, I stayed up late on Christmas Eve 1982, feverishly finishing Kristen's crewel-work Christmas stocking. (She was less than six months old, but that didn't matter to me!)

I always displayed live poinsettias and other Christmas plants. I have sought out, in years past, traditional English plum pudding and hard sauce. I have ordered English Christmas crackers from a catalog. My sister makes a big meal Christmas Eve; I reciprocate Christmas Day. I used a Quaker lace tablecloth, cloth napkins, good china, candles and a floral arrangement (which Dan always wanted to "take out of the way").

"HOLIDAY MEMORIES MARIETTA, OHIO, 1959'"

by Michael Dickinson

(If you click on the picture to enlarge it,

you will see department store names very

familiar to us Americans of a certain age!)

But this year, I think I am tired of Christmas. It is just so ubiquitous, so soulless. I told Dan that if if weren't for the fact of Kristen coming home this year, I would just skip Christmas. Dan agreed with me, and he loves Christmas!

I'm ALMOST at the point where I want to say "Bah, Humbug". But that's actually not how I feel. My brother, John, was killed in a car accident on Dec. 21, 1978, at age 25. It was very, very difficult for all of us to celebrate Christmas that year. I think that if not for the fact that my parents had already purchased a live tree, the Christmas presents were already bought, and that Glori's son Nick (John's beloved little nephew) was at the magical age of two, we would not have had any kind of Christmas celebration. But we did NOT say "Bah, Humbug".

Despite a funeral on Christmas Eve Day (the church wouldn't let us wait until Dec. 26), we managed to celebrate Christmas that awful year, and I think there is an unwritten code in our family that after that tragedy, no matter what the circumstances we will always observe Christmas.

From the "Christmas In Walnut (IA)" Collection

by Susan Prince

But it does get harder. Over the years, in addition to the loss of John, we have had to face the loss of my Grandmother, all my aunts and uncles, my mom and stepfather, my brother Ron, and Dan's mom and dad. As I get older, it gets physically harder and harder to drag out the multitudinous Christmas decorations and set them up. Dan no longer has the desire or the inclination to put Christmas lights up on the roof.

Underlying it all, there is the unspoken desire to HAVE OLD CHRISTMAS BACK. I want Christmas to go back to the time when our family Christmas tree was a not-very-big fir decorated with flung tinsel, homemade red and green construction paper chains, and strung popcorn and cranberries. I want Christmas to be the sight, while driving home from Crosby to Larson, of lone houses on the dark prairie magically illuminated with a string of lights along the roof line.

"CHRISTMAS MEMORIES" by Angela Trotta Thomas

I want Christmas to be a big barrel full of Christmas nuts in a small town grocery store (and a barrel-ful of lutefisk to be avoided at any cost). I want Christmas to be the naievete of the Lutheran church pageant and the elementary school program. I want it to be about the identical paper sacks of ribbon candy, peanuts, chocolate drops and popcorn balls given out by Santa Claus at both places, secular and sacred. I want it to be about having a little bit of money and the freedom to roam the dime store to consider gifts of Evening in Paris perfume, handkerchiefs, and other fancy treasures for loved ones.

I want Christmas to be about the beloved carols of "Silent Night", "Oh Holy Night" and "We Three Kings", instead of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer". I want it to be about the Christmas lights that were strung over Main Street in Crosby and countless other small North Dakota towns, always at some point during the season to be blown about by fierce Alberta Clipper winds. I want it to be about the Nativity scenes set up beside brick chuches, giving comfort and sustenance to observers.

"SURPRISE PACKAGE" by Vickie Wade

I want Christmas to be about free December Saturday movie matinees in Crosby. I want it to be my Grandma's house, with the red cellophane wreath in the big front room window and the Miles Kimball lighted plastic musical church atop the TV. I want it to be about the glass-blown ornaments sold by Kresges. (Does anyone know what retail giant Kresges became?)

As much as I like mini-white lights (called "fairy lights" in England) I want Christmas to be about those old-fashioned fat multi-colored bulbs and bubble lights. I want it to be wearing out the toy pages in the Sears and "Monkey" Wards Christmas catalogs. I want it to be about "Frosty the Snowman" instead of "The Nightmare Before Christmas". 

Artist Unknown 

I want Christmas to be walking with my mom along deserted Larson streets, with the snow coldly crunch-crunching under our feet, as we view a Christmas moon wreathed with misty vapor. I want Christmas to be turkey dinner at Grandma's house, with all those people long gone: Grandma, Mary, Donny, Scotty, Dave, Ina, Leo, Billy, Mom, Dad, John and Ron. Only Glori and I and our immediate families are left.

I want Christmas to be waiting for HOURS!! on Christmas Eve for Dad to come in off the road, because Santa had left the presents locked in Dad's shop (I later figured out it was to guard the presents from John's prying eyes and hands.) I want Christmas to be the one when Brother Ron swore he saw Santa and his sleigh flying across the moon.

Artist Unknown

I want Christmas to be the gift exchange at the one-room school, even if I usually just got the Lifesavers "Book Pack". At least that was better than the year I got a set of panties from Jim Iverson (even if it was his mom who bought the gift, it was still mortifying). I want it to be the Christmas that I got the kitchen set, or the big floppy dog, or the Betsy-Wetsy or Poor Pitiful Pearl dolls. I want it to be about Ron's train set, and his lifelong love of trains.

I want Christmas to be trying out new ice skates on the bumpy, choppy, possibly unsafe ice at Tweet's Lake. (No indoor rinks for us!) I want it to be about going to my friends' house to see their new toys. I want it to be two solid weeks of no school!

From the book "An Old Fashioned Christmas"

Written by Rochelle Pennington, Illustrated by Cathy Stern

I want Christmas to about the huge tree in the middle of Main Street in Columbus. About looking for the Christmas star in the North Dakota night sky. About the King James version of the Christmas story. About unquestioning faith.

I want Christmas to be about no worries or cares. I want it to be about breathless anticipation and pure joy. I want Old Christmas back.

NOTE: Christmas cards by Cathy Stern, artist of two of the paintings above, can be found on her website, http://www.whitesparrowstudio.com/.

THE FAERY MAVEN?

Back in September, I received an e-mail from a young lady named Brittany telling me she had found a tiny skull and wondered if it belonged to a fairy. She also wondered if she, herself, could be a fairy or a sprite.

At first I thought it was a joke and was quite upset to have received the e-mail (I thought someone was making a fool of me), but after several exchanges back and forth I was convinced that she was an actual 13-year-old girl. I asked Brittany why she had contacted me and she said it was because I "knew so much about fairies." Huh?

And then today, I received an e-mail from another 13-year-old girl named Alina, who made a comment on my post on "Pixies, Fairies, Elves And Other Week Folk," written back in March. http://celticanamcara.blogspot.com/2009/03/pixies-fairies-elves-and-other-wee-folk.html.

 She too, asked me if these things are real.

Both girls must have been cruising the Internet for information about fairies and found my blog. I mentioned Brittany to my blogging friend Lila ("Indigo Pears") and she replied, "You ARE The Fairy Maven!"

Hmm, "The Fairy Maven"?? I never set out to be one. It's true, I have written quite a few posts about fairies. However, I have never said I believe in fairies. Although I have a couple of blogging friends who swear to their existence, I would have to say that as for myself, as much as I would like to see a fairy, I never have.

I wrote and told Brittany that I think she must have found the skull of a little animal. If she had found the skull of an actual fairy, I said, she would be the first person in the world to have done so. Moreover, I said, I think that a fairy is too unsubstantial to leave behind a skeleton. A fairy is gossamer and thistledown, not flesh and bone.

Having gotten to know Brittany a little, I was delighted to find that she is unlike the typical 13-year-old girl of today - unsophisticated, unspoiled, fresh, still having childlike beliefs in "the great possible." Although I could not correspond with Alina because she was a "No Reply" blogger, I think of her in the same vein.

As a child I often used to imagine how wonderful it would be to be a fairy; to be small and light enough to climb a flower stem, to live at the bottom of a tree behind a tiny door, to nap on a mushroom and sail on a leaf. I hope that Brittany and Alina, as they grow into adulthood, never lose sight of that other, magical and mystical world just behind the veil.

To that end, I sent Brittany this link, which Lila sent to me. It's from the Sept. 10, 2009 edition of The London Daily Mail online:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1211845/Croydon-Tinker-Bell--fairies-the-garden.html.

This is the photo Phyllis Bacon took from the doorway of her South London home of what appears to be a fairy in her garden.

Close up of "the fairy"

The famed 1917 faked photograph of the Cottingley Fairies,
mentioned in the London Daily Mail story

Back in 1917, a great many people believed in the authenticity of the Cottingley Fairies photo. In 2009, there are probably a lot of readers who believe Mrs. Bacon had a fairy in her garden.

Belief in fairies - and other wee folk - was once very common, especially in England and Europe. That belief has never truly died out. There are people out there today who claim to see fairies on a regular basis; others see orbs and wonder if they are fairies. As for me, do I believe in fairies? Let's just say that I believe in the belief in fairies.

(NOTE: I wrote this post months ago but other interesting or more timely subjects intervened and I never published it. Having received the e-mail from Alina today, I thought now would be a good time to trot it out.)

And it seems especially timely, since it was just a few days ago that I read about the Scottish movie "Kirk" in Ruthie's blog ("5 Precious Things"). The movie (which has nothing to do with Capt. Kirk of Star Trek), is about a 17th-century Scottish pastor named Robert Kirk who believed in faeries. He wrote a book called "The Secret Commonwealth of Elves, Fauns and Faeries". The movie looks and sounds extremely interesting and I hope to get my hands on it when available.  Here's a link to info about "Kirk": http://www.mjsimpson.co.uk/reviews/kirk.html.

AN OPEN WINTER

"BURNING LEAVES" by Charles L. Peterson

I'm not sure how many people know the meaning of the title of this post. I Googled the phrase and found a lot of confusion and not many answers. Apparently one or more dictionaries defined it as warm, and occurs when seaports are free from ice. 

On one word usage forum I looked at there were many Americans who were stumped by the phrase. It may be of Midwestern or far northern states' origin. It is a well-known term here in North Dakota.

Open Winter occurs when the temps are unseasonably mild and the snows of winter are held in abatement. The big waters remain free of ice and wildlife are easily able to get out and about to feed in fields and along rivers. But it does apply to humans as well!

"WAITING ON THE VERANDAH" by Marie Firmin Girard

In dramatic contrast to November 2008, our spate of mild weather continues into the last week of November. It's generally been in the 50s and even some 60s. I've been able to go outside on a  comfortably warm afternoon to observe dozens of cedar waxwings enjoying a feast from red-fruited trees (crabapples?) Since the berries are fermented, I do hope the birds didn't have far to fly.

On late afternoons, the light slanted very low, turning the bare tree branches into an orange-y rust. It is pure pleasure just to drive along the Bismarck streets and observe the patterns of the branches against a blue sky.

Blue skies. It may not seem much to you, but it means a lot to us. The sky has seldom been blue in Bismarck for almost an entire year. Winter - which came early - was pure hell, spring was a wet hell, summer was not quite hell but cloudy and wet. After an unbelievably beautiful September, October reverted to deja vu - cold, wet, cloudy, and gray.

"AUTUMN LEAVES" by John Everett Millais

And then came November, an open November - with mild and dry weather. One of the clerks at the post office told me it's because the 2008-2009 winter is an El Nino season. That may be the cause, as other El Nino years have meant mild winters for us. I hope so. But whatever the reason, I'll take it. I wear just a light jacket, not a winter coat. No warming up the car - just a quick defrosting of the windows. No slippery or snow-clogged streets to maneuver.

I know, I know, I blog about the weather a lot. We North Dakotans get kidded about talking so much about the weather. But at least it means that we are more connected with nature than our city cousins. Bismarck is classified as a small city, but because of our northern location, we are often cast into the role of rural pioneers as we shovel out from blizzard after blizzard.

"A SUSSEX AUTUMN" by Henry LaThangue

This year, we got to experience a Thanksgiving that most of America enjoys: seeing the subtle colors of late fall - the browns, the grays, the golds - instead of a blanket of white. We were able to put pumpkins out on the stoop without having them freeze to the steps, not to be pried loose until spring thaw.

We could travel "over the river and through the woods" to Grandma's house for Thanksgiving without having to break out our winter survival kits (which should always "be kept replenished and stored in the trunk of your car"). When Thanksgiving dinner was over, we could send the kids outside to play without jamming them into snowsuits, mittens, scarves and boots.

Artist Unknown to me

The turkeys were the only things that were frozen. The person carrying the pies from the car to the house didn't slip on the ice and fall. The smokers could be shooed outdoors without guilt. The weather at the Macy's Day parade actually matched ours for once. We could take an outdoor stroll to walk off our turkey dinner without forging through deep snow.

The freshly-cleaned house did not have an entryway full of smelly wet wool coats and dripping overshoes. People going to the Black Friday sales didn't fall over dead in line like so many frozen toothpicks.

"POTATO HARVESTING" by Carl Larsson

For now, the snowblowers are parked, the shovels sit unused, the cars start happily without protest, the pheasants and other wild birds forage at will. The sidewalks and streets are bone dry, the dog doesn't mind going outside, the Christmas lights could be put up without sliding off the slippery roof. If it were allowed, we could still burn leaves (most ND cities have burn bans). We could even do last-minute gardening chores.

As my husband said, every day without snow is a day off winter. We've already shaved a month off winter this season.

God's in his heaven and all's right with the world.

And for all of this, I am so truly, truly thankful. Hallelujah for an Open November and let's hope it continues into an Open Winter.

THANKSGIVING - WE DID IT OUR WAY

KFC and Beer - The Redneck Version of
Norman Rockwell's Famous Thanksgiving Painting

It's a funny thing about families. We have traditions that no one better mess with. Take Thanksgiving Dinner, for example.

Some people have their Thanksgiving Dinner as early as noon or 1:00. Some like it later in the afternoon. Others, like us, have it for their evening meal (we used to be a "Dinner at 4 p.m." family but somehow it got put on the table later and later every year, so we finally admitted it's not going to be earlier than 6 o'clock.)

It seems that once a meal time is decided upon, it is set in stone. The same holds true for the menu. My family sticks to pretty much the same one year after year. There's been one phase out, and one minor substitution, one "might or might not serve it depending on how we feel", but that's about it. Here's what's on a typical Fredericksen-Fagerland Thanksgiving table: Roast turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stove top stuffing (dressing), scalloped corn, French's green bean casserole, dinner rolls, whole cranberries, lefse, and some sort of pie, ice cream optional.

For years, I used to make New England Yam Bake, which involves ringing yams with pineapple slices and covering them with a mixture of brown sugar, butter, flour and cinnamon, topped with pineapple juice and chopped hazelnuts. At the very end of the baking period, the dish is covered by marshmallows and broiled for a few minutes. I finally realized that other people were eating this dish only out of politeness, and I wasn't that much of a fan of yams, either, making the dish just for the nutty, sweet topping.

I think the year I quit making the yam bake was the year after my 1- and 2-year-old great nephews, Riley and Bailey, got into the marshmallows, giving them a terrible sugar high. The next day, I discovered that our cocker spaniel, Lady, was covered by a sticky mess which turned out to be marshmallow goo put there by little fingers.

If my sister has to work, I skip the green bean casserole, her favorite. Sometimes we make dressing, but if we forget it in the melee, no one seems to mind. Anyway, nothing could ever top my mother's savory turkey dressing, which she made in a separate pan. That gave it great appeal to me, as I have never like dressing that's been stuffed up a turkey's butt.

We used to bake crescent rolls, but they always burned on the bottom, so we switched to brown and serve rolls. Everyone likes them better. Lefse is a Norwegian thing (it's like a tortilla, only made with mashed potatoes) and is the signal to us that the Christmas season starting. Kristen, when she was home, could always be counted on to have some lefse, as did her cousin Nick when he lived in Bismarck.

For dessert, we used to have the traditional pumpkin pie but gravitated to kinds we like better. When it's my turn to furnish pie, I feel no shame in going to Perkins and purchasing their caramel apple pie. If it's Glori's turn, she brings a yummy Fruits of the Forest pie.

We have absolutely no desire to tinker with this menu. But judging by the multitude of Thanksgiving menus and recipes on the Internet and in magazines, there must be a great demand for "something completely different".

I know there are many variations on our menu across the country. For example, some Italian families serve lasagna or other pasta on Thanksgiving, which I find extremely odd. But then again, they probably consider our choices odd. It's like making chili - everyone has their own recipe which is not only THE BEST but also THE ONLY POSSIBLE ONE.

I'm sure some people think it is a sacrilege not to have pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. My  mother-in-law would never have dreamed of not serving it, along with her ultra-rich pecan pie, so sweet it made your teeth hurt (but good!). Squash is about as traditional a Thanksgiving side as you could have, but we never consider  it. There are some people who put oysters in their stuffing. Ewww! And what's up with mac and cheese on the Thanksgiving table?

People would probably ask us things like: "You don't use the giblets for your gravy?" "What, you don't like turnips or parsnips?" "You're not serving a green salad - can't you have just one healthy item on the table?" ("Nope, nope and nope!")

Do you like your turkey deep fried or brined? Or do you substitute tofurkey or turkducken? Do you serve bread or corn pudding, glazed carrots or Brussels sprouts, collard greens, sausage or cornbread stuffing,  riced or gratin potatoes, pumpkin cheesecake or sweet potato pie? Whatever traditional or new dish is on your Thanksgiving table this year, do enjoy.

Oh, by the way, save the white meat for me.
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PS - Check out this great link entitled: "5 Dishes I Wouldn't Feed A Dog But I Do Eat To Be Polite At Thanksgiving: http://www.blogher.com/5-dishes-i-wouldnt-feed-dog-i-do-eat-be-polite-thanksgiving. I can't believe there are that many people put off by cranberry sauce! I love it myself.

MEMORABLE THANKSGIVINGS

For some reason I am very much in a Thanksgiving mood this year, full of nostalgia over Thanksgivings and Thanksgiving menus of the past. That's a good thing. I've always hated it when Thanksgiving gets swallowed up in premature Christmas madness. 

There have been some very memorable - or shall I say notorious - Thanksgivings in my life.

I went to college at the University of North Dakota in Grand Forks, a six-hour drive from home. I had no car and had to always snag rides from semi-strangers going in my general direction - always a dicey proposal at best.

One Thanksgiving my roommate, who was from Williston, got a ride for us with another Williston native. The guy turned out to have a wreck of a car (I remember that the left rear door had to be tied shut with a rope.) Due to many stops and starts, it tooks us way more than six hours to get home. I had arranged for my parents to meet me at the bowling alley in Stanley, knowing that John Jones would not detour all the way to Larson for me.

By the time we finally arrived, the bowling alley was closed for the night. I later found out that my parents had been there, waited for hours and left again. They had no way to know what had happened to me. Remember, this was in the days before cell phones. I had to ride all the way to Williston and stay overnight with Joan, and my stepdad had to drive the 180 miles round trip to get me the next morning.

The first year Dan and I moved to Bismarck-Mandan, there was a terrible ice and snow storm the day before Thanksgiving. We hemmed and hawed, but finally decided we just couldn't risk driving home. That was a bitter pill for me to swallow. I was pregnant and weepy. Living in a new town and knowing very few people didn't help either. Dan and I decided to make a full Thanksgiving dinner and headed for the grocery store that Wednesday evening. Did I mention that I had morning sickness that went on all day? I will never, ever forget the tremendous will power it took for me to make it through the store without barfing. I got to the car door before I whoopsed. After I sat down to dinner the next day, I suddenly had to excuse myself for a good half hour or more, for the same reason.

One Thanksgiving when Dan was hunting elk in Montana, pity was taken on Kristen and me and we were invited to not one but two Thanksgiving dinners, one in the early afternoon and one in late afternoon. Yes, we went to both, and I ate heartily at both, having just enough time to digest the first dinner before attacking the second. The next day I was terribly ill. I may have had the stomach flu, but I thought otherwise. In what I now realize was a terrible faux pas, I called both hostesses and asked them if anyone else got food poisoning from their dinners.

On yet another year when Dan was away hunting, my sister Glori cooked Thanksgiving dinner at her Fourth Street apartment. That's the year we both got very tipsy on white wine and I ended up breaking one of her Duncan Phyfe chairs (in my defense, it was old and very brittle). Thank goodness I lived only a few blocks away.

Fast forward to another year and Dan is gone yet again. My sister and I were feeling lazy so we, our Dad and our kids went to a restaurant buffet. I hope to never have to do that again. Easter buffets are fine, but for some reason Thanksgiving buffets feel sad, pathetic and lonely to me. Thanksgiving is about family and HOME. During yet ANOTHER Thanksgiving hunting trip, Kristen and I went to Perkins for our holiday dinner. I think Kristen had a hamburger or chicken strips. As awful as my "fake" mashed potatoes, yellow gravy and dry turkey were, I should have followed her lead.

Was I seriously upset with Dan for missing all those family Thanksgivings in a row? Ya think? One year, he and his hunting buddies had planned to be away for Thanksgiving but ended their hunt early. He phoned me with the news that they were on their way home, and I found myself yet again traipsing through the grocery aisles on a pre-Thanksgiving night. Fortunately, I wasn't sick that time. I had to buy a fresh turkey as there was no time to thaw out a frozen one. I remember that my bird dripped turkey juices the entire way through the store. I was afraid mop-wielding grocery police were going to get after me. As I pulled into the driveway with my very fresh turkey and other groceries, Dan arrived home!

I was thrilled to have him home that year. Another year, not so much. That was The Year Dan Cooked The Turkey Upside Down. He had called me into the kitchen about halfway through the roasting, saying the turkey "looked funny". It did look very funny. I declared, "That's not a turkey. You bought some other kind of poultry. Go to the store and buy a turkey now!" He reminded me that the stores are all closed on Thanksgiving Day. We ultimately figured out that it was a turkey, just upside down. A friend who was dining with us and I got into a laughing fit over it and Kristen thought we all had gone completely nuts.

I am totally going to gloss over the year we had a disgusting wild turkey for Thanksgiving, so proudly bagged by Dan. I am going to pretend it never happened.

Because we've had so many dogs, I'm  surprised that this is not one of our Thanksgiving stories:

This year I hope we have a quiet, uneventful Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, my sister has to work. I've invited her two kids, but since they're 19 and 22, they may find better places to go.

Dan bought a 19 pound turkey, so we'll have lots of leftovers, regardless.

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ADDED LATER: I totally forgot that one year we discovered - after we cooked the turkey - that we had forgotten to take the neck/giblet bag out of the cavity. We're not the only ones to have done that, or cook a turkey upside down for that matter. At least I have never stuffed a turkey with unpopped popcorn.  I discovered these and a whole lot more Thanksgivings gaffes in this link called "What was your worst Thanksgiving disaster?" http://ph.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061120084004AAdmfQk

LEST WE FORGET

BROTHERS BY BIRTH,

BROTHERS IN ARMS

Americans call this holiday Veterans' Day. I think of it as Armistice Day.

At 11 a.m. on the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918, the Armistice was signed, signaling an end to World War I afer four long, bloody years.

Of course, it wasn't called that back then. It was known as the Great War, the largest war the world had ever seen. It was thought of as the war to end all wars. Sadly, as we well know, it wasn't.

Today, I honor my three great uncles who died during or because of the Great War. Though in desperate circumstances, Archie, Jack and William were positive they would beat the savage Huns. William never even lived long enough to learn that isolationist America finally came to the Allies' aid and joined the fray. Jack died a mere 6 days after the U.S. entered the war. None of them knew that defeated, humbled Germany would bitterly and vindictively rise again, just a couple of decades later, and start a firestorm that would engulf the entire globe in another world war.

Throughout the centuries, people have saluted their soldiers, and today I salute ours, living and dead, including the newest - the American, British and other allied soldiers of the Iraq and Afghan Wars, heroes every one. They include my Uncles Donny and Scotty, two members of the Greatest Generation who fought in WWII, and my husband Dan, who served as a Navy corpsman (medic) attached to the Marines in Vietnam.

But I carry a special place in my heart for three brothers from Golspie, a small town in far northeastern Scotland.

Archibald (Archie) Munro

Archie Munro did not let immigration to Canada, having a wife and children, or being too old stop him from enlisting in the Canadian Army. He lied about his age, joined up, and was among the first Canadian soldiers to be shipped to Europe.

He was gassed at Ypres, France, and taken prisoner in April 1915. So close to death that he was mistaken for dead, he was thrown on a heap of corpses awaiting burial detail. Fortunately, he was saved at the last moment. Archie later returned to Canada and lectured about his experiences as a POW. However, he died in 1921 - a mere three years after the war ended, never having fully regained his health.

William (Willie) Munro

William and Jack entered the British Army as members of Scottish regiments - Jack joined the King's Own Scottish Borderers and William joined the Seaforth Highlanders. Praised as a famous footballer (soccer player), a journalist, and a fine young man, William was well-respected in his home grounds of Sutherland and Caithness Counties in the Scottish Highlands.

William Munro of the Seaforth Highlanders

Attaining the rank of sergeant, William was much loved by his men. After he enlisted and was posted to France, he filed reports from the front to his former newspaper. That same newspaper, when reporting his death, said those stories were some of the best writing it had ever published. Willie was the first Munro son to die. All of Golspie mourned when he was killed on Nov. 13, 1916.

Beaumont Hamel, France, Nov. 1916

The hellhole where William died

Archie and William were heroic soldiers. Jack was all of that, and something else as well: a publicly-recognized, much-lauded and highly-decorated hero. 

Jack, seated

Written on the back of this postcard: "Just a P.C. in haste. Hope you are all well. Saw Archie's name in Scotsman yesterday 2-6. Our 3rd Batt. have gone from Portland (England), off to Edinboro Kings Park. Love to you all in haste. Jack."

The brief note "Saw Archie's name in Scotsman" would have been in reference to the listing of Archie as Missing in Action. Jack had to have surmised that family members back home would know what this meant.

RSM John Alexander (Jack) Munro

Jack was a true soldier's soldier and became the youngest Regimental Sergeant Major in the British Army at the time. He participated in such well known conflicts as the famous Mons Retreat, the Battle of the Marne, the fierce fighting around Ypres and the Offensive on the Somme. He was wounded but survived four times, his injuries usually occurring while he was rescuing another soldier.

After his last hospital release, he became a British Army instructor and could have remained in the rear until war's end. However, he felt he could not abandon his men. He returned to the French front and was later mortally wounded by a shell. His last act in life was to yet again rescue a fallen comrade. He died on April 12, 1917.  Jack and William's widowed mother, Hughina, had lost two sons within just five months, and Golspie again wept over the loss of another gallant Munro soldier.

An embroidered linen postcard of the

KOSB, mailed home by Jack

Jack's medals. He was posthumously
awarded the Military Cross (far right)

Who among us actually has the courage to die for our country? I surely don't. I salute those who have, and still do, every day.

This image is a montage that includes photos of Jack and William, the World War I Memorial at Golspie, Scotland, and Golspie itself, along with part of a famous poem. It was created by an e-card company with the guidance of my second cousin Shirley Sutherland, who lives in Golspie. Shirley, our family historian, has traveled to France to visit and document William's and Jack's gravesites. Though I could not accompany her, I took the journey with her in spirit.

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"The Ode of Remembrance" taken from
"For The Fallen" by Laurence Binyon

They went with songs to the battle, they were young.
Straight of limb, true of eyes, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted,
They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
We will remember them."