Wednesday, September 5, 2007

HOW MANY GOLDEN RETRIEVERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

Hi, this is Penny, Julie's big Golden Retriever and smartest dog, just after my seasonal clipping. Can you believe all that dog hair? No wonder I pant so much. Anyway, I finally got Gracie to stop napping on my back, so I could get to the computer to share a little something that my best girl, Kristen, sent her mom today. Yeah, I know it's difficult, since my paws are really big, and I don't have opposible thumbs, but I am very smart and manage just fine.



How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
4. Rottweiler: Make me.
5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!
10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
11. Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb.
12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Oops, Mom caught me. She told me to tell you that is NOT an actual photo of me with all that dog hair. Alright, I admit that I stole it off the Internet. I don't need clipping, but Mom says that could really be a picture of all the hair I SHED. And, what is more amazing, that is about how much dog hair she had to clip off our cocker spaniel, Lady.
She also says to tell you that she has owned a Golden Retriever and a Cocker Spaniel, and has seen many Labs in action, and those descriptions are very true.
(Mom has threatened to give Gracie and me away and get a little dog, like the stupid dachshund pictured above. But I know in my heart of hearts that she would never do that. We have "dog security" here.)
Finally, Mom told me to tell you that the original "changing a light bulb" joke was about Norwegians, and went like this: "How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to hold the bulb and two to turn the chair." (And yes, she is proud to be a Norwegian.)

8 comments:

Vicki said...

Love this! Thanks for the smile that started my day.

Hugs,
Vicki

miss*R said...

I was just about to say that you need a sheep shearer for all that fur! You could make a coat from it :) - hope it is cooling down for you now, it is back to cold weather for us again here in Woodford!

Gemma said...

This is such a cute post. Love dogs changing a light bulb and
Computer dogs. LOL!

smilnsigh said...

Wow! You too, were able to leave a comment in my 'smilnsigh'! Wow!

That makes a couple of you gals, who couldn't, and now can. I'll take a couple at a time. ,-) It is progress!!!! :-)

Mari-Nanci

lila said...

This is so clever! I'll have to forward it to my sister, the dog (English Shepherd) breeder.

nonizamboni said...

Oh, Julie, this post just made my day!! I couldn't stop smiling. You are very, very clever. I live in the only apt. bldg. in the complex that allows pets, so just about every apt. on all 3 floors has a dog and I think they're all accounted for in this hilarious light bulb piece.
Thanks for making my day.

AnnieElf said...

uhhh, this is all from the setter? holy hannah.

marion said...

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Alena

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