Sunday, June 10, 2007


I've been working at my new job for two weeks now and haven't posted anything yet. I guess I feel as if it is still a dream, and if I write anything about it, I'll wake up and find that it doesn't exist.
Or maybe the reason why I haven't written about it is that I feel like a fraud and an impostor. A fraud because I've had hardly anything to do and they are paying me money for it. A certain card needs to be inserted into my computer before I can start doing abstracts, which will be the major part of my job. They received a card in last week, and everyone was rejoicing, but it proved to be the wrong card, so now we wait until next week. In the meantime, I do owner's and encumbrance reports for lenders or do scut work like filing document and plat cards. After that, if there is still nothing to do, I draw out legal (land) descriptions. My husband says to relax and enjoy it because there will come many days when I will be overwhelmed with work. Having worked in this industry for nine years, I know he is right.
And I feel like an impostor because they gave me my very own office! In 36 years of being in the working world, I have never had my own office before. I've either been in cubicles or had a desk in a room full of desks. My former supervisor worked in this industry for 24 years - as a department manager for many of them - and never had an office. So in addition to feeling like a fraud I feel guilty!
It's only a six-minute drive from my driveway to the parking lot. The office building we work in is new, and so everything in our office is new and freshly painted. There are only four others working with me so far. The people are nice and everything is quiet and peaceful. No more jibber-jabber from 14 desks in one room, or shouting from room to room. At lunch time, if I choose, I can go into my office with my lunch and shut the door.
My office is mine to decorate as I please. No more of those horrid inspirational posters for me! So far I haven't put any pictures up. I guess I don't want to put any nails in their fresh new walls unless they decide to keep me. Such insecurity! I have bought some items from Tarzhay (Target) and they are all of a Zen theme. In one corner of my very large desk I have the Buddha shown above, a white hydrangea in a "stone" block and a small picture with bamboo and Chinese writing.
On the window sill (yes, I have my own large window after being in rooms with no windows for so long), I placed a black rectangular wooden tray with three green candles in glass cubes (also from Tarzhay), a small fountain that I bought elsewhere and a photo of my daughter. Obviously, I'm striving for a tranquil and ordered feel after the turmoil I experienced in my other job. Hopefully, when I am rushed and harried in days to come, I can look at my little Zen displays and find peace and calm. And, I tell myself, if this job doesn't work out all these things will look great in my home office.


Daisy Lupin said...

I am so glad you have your own space and you are allowed to make it your own space. I have just been reading about your favourite childhood books below. My very favourite was The Secret Garden. I used to get a lot of American books sent to me by a distant relation so I grew up too with the Bobbsey Twins and Nancy Drew. Though you do mention a lot I have never heard of before. I still love children's books and occasionally will read one to remember what they were like. I also loved Milly Molly Mandy books which were very old fashioned English children's books.

Lila Rostenberg said...

I love the Zen things you are putting in your office. I wish you lots of serenity there!
(we got mom's computer up and running so I can continue my blogging addiction even here!

Lisa Oceandreamer Swifka said...

What a great idea to surround yourself with Zen and calming items. On the days when things get a wee bit crazy you will have a grounding reminder. Oh the days I spent in a room with many desks and a cubicle wall to separate them. We did have windows and when the powers said we could get new furniture etc.I drew up a floor plan so that each of us had a window in front of our desks. It made a big difference just knowing what the weather was outside.
Enjoy your new job, this was meant to be!

Rowan said...

This sounds like pretty well the perfect job! Your office space will be a really serene and relaxing place to be even on the days when things get a bit fraught. I hope this all works out as well as it's begun.

Miss Robyn said...

your space sounds wonderful! ever thought of a crystal to put in your space? an amethyst is a good one to start with, quite inexpensive and readily available..
I will look into what crystal would be best to clear that past negative feeling from your old job xoox

Annie Jeffries said...

Julie, I am so incredibly happy for you. You deserve all that you are receiving and more. You have definitely paid your dues. Embrace it. Love it. Feel like Melanie Griffith in "Working Girl" and throw your arms up, your head back and prop up your feet.

couragetocreatewriteandlove said...

Congratulations and the best!
Now, I have been checking you daily and I hope you post something soon. I miss your very wise and insightful writing. I love to learn!
P.S. A fresh flower in your workspace could be also a very soothing and calming.