WHAT HATH GRACIE WROUGHT?

GRACIE WITH DAN.

LOOK AT THAT DOG, ACTING LIKE BUTTER WOULDN'T MELT IN HER MOUTH.

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THINGS GRACE HAS BROKEN/TRIED TO BREAK; EATEN/TRIED TO EAT;

CHEWED/TRIED TO CHEW; DESTROYED

1. Pens

2. Books

3. Toilet Paper

4. Paper Towels

5. Napkins

6. Letters

7. Packages received in the mail

8. DVDs

9. The strap on my purse

10. Three wine glasses

11. Glass candle holder

12. My glasses

13. My comforter

14. An afghan my mother-in-law made for my daughter 25 years ago

15. The remote control

16. A five-foot-long branch she tried to drag in from the yard

17. Plants

18. A bowl of soup

19. A platter of raw hamburgers

20. Plastic juice bottles

21. Towels (I let her chew on corners of towels - it seems to pacify her.)

22. My pillow

23. My pillowcase

24. My medication

25. Christmas ornaments

26. The couch cushions

27. Cardboard boxes

28. My scarf

29. Chenille Easter chicks (fortunately not vintage)

30. Ribbons

31. Silverware

32. The phone cord

33. My new black flats

34. My best Thom McAn walking shoes

35. Newspapers/magazines

36. Packs of cigarettes

37. Lighters

38. A necklace

39. The dustpan

40. The dogs' water dish

41. Penny's ball (she loves to steal it)

42. Lamp cord

43. Rug

44. Two new sets of rubber stamps

45. Styrofoam peanuts

46. My jacket

47. A little garden statue of a fairy (which she dragged in the house)

48. Penny's collar (while on Penny)

49. Scissors and other tools

50. Kitchen utensils

51. A roll of aluminum foil

52. Underwear

53. Socks

54. Our earlobes (She has drawn blood from both of us)

55. Coat hangers

56. Silk flowers

57. All her chew toys, right away

58. A candle

59. Milk carton

60. Pop cans

61. Soap

62. Plastic flower pot (also dragged in from the garden)

63. Belt from Dan's robe

64. Tube of toothpaste

65. Dan's toothbrush

66. Broken glass

67. Plastic garbage bag

68. Penny's tail, legs, snout and ears

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I bet I could go on and on. I will keep adding to this list, and it could probably get to 100 without much of an effort. When I'm home and realize she's stolen something, I have to chase her around and around the dining room table or around and around the couch. She never does figure out, though, that when she runs into the kitchen she has trapped herself. So why do we keep this scallywag? Just look at that face!

USING HER BIG SISTER PENNY AS A CUSHION.

(SHE USES ME AS A CUSHION TOO.)

BOTH DOGS WERE SLEEPING JUST BEFORE THIS PHOTO WAS SNAPPED

IN THE DOG HOUSE

Anyone want to buy a dog, cheap? No, it isn't Penny. I just happened to find a picture of a dog house with the name Penny on it, with a brown dog who looks kinda sorta like Penny.

No, it's Gracie who's in the dog house. You just can't see her because she's hiding in the back of the house. She's trying to avoid Mad Mom.

I came home this evening to find out that she had chewed a hole in the couch cushion and scattered the foam all over the floor. While I was cleaning it up, she jumped on the coffee table and knocked a glass candle holder on the floor, breaking it.

She is the most destructive dog we've ever had. (Well, Jacques did chew up one shoe from every pair of shoes I owned, but after that he went straight and became my lover boy.) Beau, Lady, Penny - all were relatively good pups. And sweet, shy Brandy, who came to us as a three-year old, was raised as a kennel dog so she never had much chance to be a puppy.

Not long ago, Gracie chewed up a book that I had borrowed from a friend, so I had to fork up the money to buy her a new one. Yesterday, she gnawed on the back of one of my much-loved Thom McAn walking shoes. Thank goodness she didn't destroy it, as I probably wouldn't have found a replacement pair. AND, she is chewing up the linoleum in my bathroom!!!

Granted, my couch is worn and shabby, and my linoleum is crappy, but I don't have the bucks to buy a new couch or a new bathroom floor right now. Besides, I wouldn't buy ANYTHING until puppyhood days are over. Lord, let that be soon. And let me still have some money left in my pocket by then.