NEW JOB

I've been working at my new job for two weeks now and haven't posted anything yet. I guess I feel as if it is still a dream, and if I write anything about it, I'll wake up and find that it doesn't exist.

Or maybe the reason why I haven't written about it is that I feel like a fraud and an impostor. A fraud because I've had hardly anything to do and they are paying me money for it. A certain card needs to be inserted into my computer before I can start doing abstracts, which will be the major part of my job. They received a card in last week, and everyone was rejoicing, but it proved to be the wrong card, so now we wait until next week. In the meantime, I do owner's and encumbrance reports for lenders or do scut work like filing document and plat cards. After that, if there is still nothing to do, I draw out legal (land) descriptions. My husband says to relax and enjoy it because there will come many days when I will be overwhelmed with work. Having worked in this industry for nine years, I know he is right.

And I feel like an impostor because they gave me my very own office! In 36 years of being in the working world, I have never had my own office before. I've either been in cubicles or had a desk in a room full of desks. My former supervisor worked in this industry for 24 years - as a department manager for many of them - and never had an office. So in addition to feeling like a fraud I feel guilty!

It's only a six-minute drive from my driveway to the parking lot. The office building we work in is new, and so everything in our office is new and freshly painted. There are only four others working with me so far. The people are nice and everything is quiet and peaceful. No more jibber-jabber from 14 desks in one room, or shouting from room to room. At lunch time, if I choose, I can go into my office with my lunch and shut the door.

My office is mine to decorate as I please. No more of those horrid inspirational posters for me! So far I haven't put any pictures up. I guess I don't want to put any nails in their fresh new walls unless they decide to keep me. Such insecurity! I have bought some items from Tarzhay (Target) and they are all of a Zen theme. In one corner of my very large desk I have the Buddha shown above, a white hydrangea in a "stone" block and a small picture with bamboo and Chinese writing.

On the window sill (yes, I have my own large window after being in rooms with no windows for so long), I placed a black rectangular wooden tray with three green candles in glass cubes (also from Tarzhay), a small fountain that I bought elsewhere and a photo of my daughter. Obviously, I'm striving for a tranquil and ordered feel after the turmoil I experienced in my other job. Hopefully, when I am rushed and harried in days to come, I can look at my little Zen displays and find peace and calm. And, I tell myself, if this job doesn't work out all these things will look great in my home office.